Blurred

by
Mrs. Seto Kaiba

Seto walked up to the fountain in the middle of the busy city. Its dark gray presence seemed to center the busy bustle of movements motivated by the constant need for money and respect. He stepped in front of it, the gray clouds above seeming to recognize his melancholy mood. He put his hands in his jacket pockets. It was cold already, but rightfully so, it was November. This is the deadest time of the year. He thought. His jacket blew in the breeze. He looked up to the fountain. The fountain sprayed cold water upon the content, satiated looking mermaid. She held a shell, perhaps a shell that didn't occur in nature. Her delicately sculptured fingers held it gently, securely, but gently.
Seto eyed the bench around the fountain, boxing the fountain in on four sides. Dark green bushes tickled his neck as he sat down on the bench limply. He put one of his arms back, a transparent attempt to appear confident. However, even now, he knew opening his body up would mean that he was open and that couldn't be farther from the truth. He leaned back anyway, his legs outstretched.
Seto was still and he watched the people. Everyone was completely blurry, moving at a speed that made them only spread out, their blurry images only traces of colors across his vision. He was the slow motion and they were the real speed. Once in a while the movie seemed to slow down, an actual person popping out.
He leaned down now, putting his arms onto his knees. His elbows rested upon his legs and he picked at his fingernails. The cold wind blew his hair around, softly yet so icy, across his face. He pulled his coat closer around him. The wind fit his mood.
I can't believe she didn't tell me, after all of this time...that I could visit. He closed his eyes, trying to remember Masato's face, his "little one", his son. He could see him, his little hands and chubby arms and legs. His black and red hair would swoop into his eyes wildly, but short. We had kept it short, he remembered smiling. And that beautiful smile, so cute, a giggle, and huge wonderful emerald eyes. They always sparkled with curiosity and delight.
Seto reached up and gripped behind his neck, his two hands linking. He felt cold wash all over his body, his body dying with an empty ache within the pit of his chest. His head was dropped down, his eyes closed. Niko.....

They were married and it was purely for love. It had been perfect, at first. I began working so much. I had to, or I thought I did. I am addicted, I can't help it and a lot of my work requires me to oversee it! He bit his lip and lifted his head.

Niko had become saddened when the marriage changed. She wandered around the big house she and Seto lived in doing nothing. An empty look filled her eyes...they no longer sparkled. She would pull at her long black hair, looking downward, wandering. She used to loved going outside taking walks or writing. She hadn't done those things in months. She didn't care about the money either. Seto had billions but all she had wanted was him.

I bet he looks even more like her now. Those green eyes were hers, all the way. He smiled thinking of Masato crawling and Niko beckoning to him. Two pairs of green eyes so obviously connected through genetics. It was the beauty of variety and the wonder of how it would turn out that fascinated Seto. He wondered who's hands Masato had and who's nose. People always said he looked like me, but I think he acted so much more like Niko.
Seto stood up, feeling raindrops. He looked at the looming sky. He sighed. He began walking down to the other end of the city; the blurry images melting into the busy city. He managed to get thru them quite easily, his outside person strong and stable, the inside dropping, dripping to the ground with the rain. He walked directly in the middle. He put his head down to pick up his inner self and he then bumped into a woman.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" She said. She held a young baby in her arms, probably 6 months old. She bent to pick up her keys and her wallet. Seto bent and picked them up for her, his eyes gazing upon the baby. A piece of sun rested within Seto's mind as he saw this little baby. The eyes of the child sparkled a light blue. The woman thanked him and stood up slowly.
"Your baby?" Seto asked. She smiled and put her hand on her head nervously.
"Yes." She smiled shyly.
"He's adorable." Seto mused. She smiled almost shyly giggling.
"Why, thank u."
"You're welcome." He said and then moved on.
I had to do it. I had to Niko! Why couldn't u see? He walked quickly in the rain. It was getting colder by the minute. The rain began to freeze. It fell in thicker, more icy slabs. He put his hands back in his pockets.
I know where u live Niko. I'm no fool. Just because I send you money to some obscure P.O. box doesn't mean I don't know. I have that ability you know. He thought angrily about these things. But in reality, he knew he was fooling himself. Niko probably knew he would find her. She just..couldn't.... I don't know.
Oh God!
He trudged onward. We're still married Niko.....

She was pregnant in January, 5 years ago. She gave birth to Masato on October 26th, the day after Seto's birthday. So what if I couldn't be there! I-I... He walked fiercely. I should have been there...His inner essence dragged lower... saddness washing over him mixing in obscurely with the rain...icy raindrops. I have regretted that, not being there. Oh Niko, you see! I'm admitting regret! Even though he wasn't there for Masato's birth, the sight and smell of his new baby boy brought him to his knees. Niko and he had begun to bond again. He spent more time, though not enough, with Masato and she. He would gaze into Masato's crib, the moon shining upon him from the skylights above. That moonlight was made for u. To wash into your head, to burn my image softly into your little mind, above u, the light of pure life.. He would smile at Masato. The little one was like a magnet to Seto.
Shhhh...he would breathe into Masato's ears when he cried, holding him in his arms. Masato rarely cried, but when he did Seto loved to comfort him. Niko had looked on one time right around dusk, the sun blazing in thru the enormous windows, melting over her boys. Seto cradled Mataso, looking outside, bouncing him very lightly. She had thought, my sun, my boys, my true loves.

Seto stopped at a news stand that had a roof over it long enough to cover him from the sleet. The street was getting icy. He grabbed a paper from the guy and paid him. The other people still blurred. Seto faced away from the road, reading the newspaper, a small scowl across his face.
"It's sure cold!" The man said to Seto. Seto glared at the man flipping the pages without looking at the paper. He had a hat on that looked like a taxi cab driver wears. It was old 70's material, browns, tans, blacks in it. He leaned over the stand, his thick hands holding on to each other. The hands were dirty from touching the papers all day. Even though he was cold, his shirt sleeves were pulled up exposing thick forearms. He wore a vest jacket matching his hat.
"No kidding." Seto said very coldly. The man didn't seem to flinch.
'It's NY City. I deal with much worse things than your attitude everyday, okay bub?" The man smiled at Seto. Seto sighed.
"I'm trying to read. Can't u see that?" The man shrugged.
"Yeah but while you've got your head down in that paper, you're missing a good show." The man pointed to the busy city, away from the newstand. Seto looked out. It was the first flakes of snow trailing down upon the ground. He looked at them feeling an awe and innocence that Mataso would feel. One of Masato's first snows that he'll actually remember! Seto turned and smiled. He looked at the man and smiled knowingly.
"Thanks." Seto said. He and his essence both waved strongly. Then walked out into the street, the bustle. It erupted slowly and two people emerged.
"The snow!" The old women seemed on pause or very slow motion. The other blurs were still surrounding him. The women pointed, smiling, in scarves and gloves. They were holding hands, best of friends. Still for the moment, older and in slower motion. Ready to accept what the rest of their lives could give them.

Niko and he had separated because Seto could not kick his one true addiction...the addiction of power. That is basis of all addiction, the need for control, the need to control and escape from ourselves. He craved it to a fault and did anything to possess it. Niko knew this when they met and when they got married. She admitted that she was a cliche wife thinking things would change after the ring was on, or maybe after the baby was born. But it didn't. But I didn't. Inside I know I did, but it was too small of a change to put a dent in my ultimate desire. But Masato, if I got the chance, I'll make it so up to you! I swear a thousand times, a thousand lives of karma. I'll owe to whoever it takes just to hold u once again!

Niko watched out in the busy city. The car lights were turned on now as the day was ending. The whole day looked like steel, like ice. Masato played on the floor with little Transformers. He was making them fly and crash. Niko drew the curtains again feeling an ache. She could feel him, somewhere out there. Or am I imagining it? Do I even want it? She closed the curtains. The snow looked lovely. She decided to start hanging up her large velvet maroon curtains. She walked back to the storage room. She lived in an apartment. They had recently moved. She didn't find a mansion necessary, or even a house. This was closer to her publisher's anyway. She liked to walk down to the publisher and hand him her manuscripts herself. He liked that as well.
She passed the bathroom. Her reflection caught her as she walked. She stopped and looked. Her hair had a dark maroon tint streaking it. The black was still the majority, but the tint was close to her face and it made her eyes glow. She sighed. I am pretty..I don't remember... Am I even pretty any more? What did Seto see in me? I can't seem to find that girl...
The back room was filled with boxes, toys, posters, art. She pawed through one in the far closet. This room looked emptied and unfilled, yet so cluttered. She finally found the curtains, surprisingly labeled. Seto did that...he's organized.... Christmas lights were also in there. They also were rolled perfectly in boxes. She stood up and brought them out. She grabbed a chair and stood up in that same window that she had previously been looking out of. The hooks fit in perfectly, luckily for her. She was not in the mood for annoying mishaps.
Her face was still drawn and saddened even though things were better. She still remained saddened even though it had been 3 years since they split. Her essence was easy to see through her eyes. Anyone could see what she felt through her big green eyes. She peered outside again. The cars were covered in snow as they beeped and drove home. She got down and brought the Christmas lights up. Who cares if it's only November 16hth?
Masato became curious as five year olds do. He came over, his little chin just barely seeing over the window pane. He smiled and giggled. Niko looked at him, her sadness washing away at the site of his beautiful face, wearing his orange striped shirt. He pointed excitedly to the snow.
"Momma! Look at the snow!" Masato squealed.
"Yeah baby, isn't it beautiful?"
Masato paused and put his little index finger to his mouth, appearing to think. He turned and looked up to Niko on the chair.
"Yes, beautiful" He said with purpose. He nodded his head and looked back out. Niko hung the lights and plugged them in. Then she got off the chair and moved it. She wound as many as she could around the 5 huge bay windows of the apartment. Finally, she was done, by no means was it perfect. And she smiled at that.
Niko returned to Masato's look out window. She rubbed his back. She picked Masato up and he pointed at the snow and the lights. He looked way down and smiled.
"Daddy." He said softly, smiling, relaxed. He said the word calmly and knowingly. She held his little body and lifted him up further.
"What?" Niko asked grabbing the curtain open further. She began to shake. Masato pressed his finger against the glass, the window fogging up from his warm skin. She looked outside. It was hard to see anything or anyone, but then she did see, his dark form, coming up the sidewalk, trudging. Oh I'd know that man anywhere! She looked down. He was coming to the outside apartment door. He then looked up at her. His gaze was piercing, intense, yet not aggressive. He looked up at her as he buzzed. She jumped as she heard the sound. Masato pressed his hands against the glass as she held him. Seto waved and blew him a kiss. Masato giggled. She held him and brought him to the floor. He started to pout.
"Oh baby, he's coming! Don't worry." She rubbed his cheeks. She walked over to the buzzer to ring him in. Her hands were shaking and she could feel her whole body getting weak... Oh god Seto....She pushed the button.
She leaned against the wall right beside the door. She smiled uncontrollably and closed her eyes. Masato came over and giggled.
"Daddy!" He exclaimed. "Is he coming momma?" She ran her hands over his head.
"Yes sweetheart!" Niko whispered excitedly. He giggled again. We then heard his footsteps up the stairs and and then finally stop in front of the door. Her stomach dropped when she heard the knock. She waited closing her eyes and then turned opening it. He stood, dark and tall as she always remembered. Her vision suddenly readjusted to her faded memory of him and it fit right in. The memory snapped. He had his hands in his pockets, huddling his body to himself. He looked brooding, eyes slanted in a menacing gaze. "Seto..." She breathed. He was dripping all over the steps. He then seemed to loosen. His face lessened it's tension and a very small half smile came over his face.
"Oh Niko...can I come in?" He asked softly, deeply.
"Oh yes...sorry." She said gently and he walked in as she moved. Masato was standing there looking up, little head leaned way back looking up at Seto's tall frame. His face was glowing, just an open mouth, no smile. His black and red hair touched his back as he leaned like that. Seto looked down at him. His heart was bursting inside. He held his hand over his heart. He was shivering from intense happiness.
"Daddy?" Masato asked deeply hoping, almost knowing anyway...Seto covered his mouth and crouched down to Masato.
"You remember me?" Seto's voice was trembling as a smile started, waiting to spread on his face. He was holding his breath.
"Yeah, Daddy......I remember u all right. " Masato whispered suddenly shy, his arms linking behind his back moving his body back and forth. Seto reached to touch him, softy. Masato smiled, giggling. Seto ran his hand over Masato's head. Masato closed his eyes, smiling. Seto was shaking as he touched Masato's chin. Masato opened his eyes, the most briliant beautiful telling eyes. His essence was completely in his eyes. Just like Niko's eyes....Masato reached to Seto touching his face, smiling, examining him. Seto held back his shaking as his son touched his face. He smiled back at Masato.
"You're so big." Seto said smiling.
"Yeah, I'm a big boy now. I go to school now. All day...but sometimes I stay extra..." Masato said boasting.
Seto looked up at Niko questioningly.
"He's in special classes. He's....brilliant....just like u." Niko smiled. Masato ran over to the refrigerator. He pulled on the towel on the handle. He yanked a couple of times and then freed the towel. He came running back over.
"Daddy you're all wet. Here, I'll take care of u." Masato said as he started rubbing Seto's hair and face. Seto laughed and looked at Niko again.
"I always say that to him..I'll take care of him." She smiled again. Seto smiled widely.
"Thank u Masato...." He looked at him as Masato looked at Seto proudly. He dropped the towel. "Masato.." Seto paused, full of hope in his chest. "Will u let me pick u up?" Masato smiled.
"Yes!" He said shyly, but obviously wanting to be close to Seto.
Seto then scooped Masato up in his arms breathing out, shaking, holding his little body to his face smelling him. He could feel himself bursting open now. He felt tears falling down his face and he held Masato to him. He kiss his cheek.
"I missed u so much." Seto whispered. Masato played with Seto's hair.
"I missed u too. I took care of momma while you were gone." He smiled again. Seto laughed at him. Masato touched Seto's tears.
"It's okay little one. I'm not sad."
"Good, I was getting scared..." Masato said a frightened look in his eyes.

Chapter 2